Finally, after such a long while, I am back for a short bit. I guess one can say it's a temporary respite from the daily challenges I face every day.
Anyway,...
A couple of things had happened these last few weeks that left me very dissappointed. But it is through these mistakes that we learn, and we grow to become stronger and better. I shall not bore you with the entire story of these events, because there is no point crying over spilt milk.
Life has to go on, and lessons have to be learnt.
I like helping people. Or rather, I find it a joy to share my knowledge and experience and help people in need. More importantly, I really believe a lot in karma. As a result, I think I am sometimes not very sensitive to how much help people wants. This may sound confusing, but simply put, each person has their own comfort zone. Once you go beyond a certain level which may infringe his/her privacy, the person might not take it that well and think you may have some ulterior motive in helping him/her too much. And that was exactly what happened to me. As much as I believe that my intent is made clear, but because of this, it has caused the whole chain of unfortunate events.
Then comes the next question: when would you know what the person's comfort level is? I think this is a bit abstract to describe, because it really takes some trial and error to discover each and every person's comfort level. Nevertheless, some people do indeed display through physical behaviour and facial expression if they are really very uncomfortable with the way things are going. Therefore, it really isn't very difficult sometimes. I am afraid I had not reached that level yet, but it's a learning experience.
Speaking of which, yes, I took a step back upon what happened. There had been signs prior to all this mess, and I had tried to pull myself away, but it was obviously in vain (I and I did not do a good job of it.). For a few days, I regretted what I had done, and it did make me question the need to be so nice and helpful to people. I did get some advice from a couple of close friends and family members, and I thought it really helped me a lot and learnt a lot from them. Which was why I wrote this entire thing in the first place.
So yup...
I still treasured whatever friendship that existed during that short duartion. I do not want to make any excuses for what I had done, because it is history. But you will always be a friend.
Lasciate riposare in pace.
